Leading Lighter: The Freedom to Let Go

When we think about July, we may think about freedom.

Freedom as we celebrate 250 years of our nation’s independence. Freedom from school schedules. Freedom found on vacations. Maybe even freedom from dealing with colleagues who drive us crazy, though perhaps not freedom from children we love who occasionally do the same. Freedom from traffic, unless you live at the beach.

But what about freedom from the emotional weight we carry?

This topic has been on my heart for several months. Then, almost as if he had read my mind, Jon Gordon published an article called Forgive Fast the very night I sat down to write this.

This got me thinking about how often we carry the weight of the wrongs others have done to us, or the mistakes we've made ourselves, long after the moment has passed.

And maybe that doesn't just apply to forgiving others.

Maybe it means forgiving ourselves too.

For when we fall short, mess up, fail, or as I prefer to call it, learn. For when we think we're not where we should be by now. For when we snap at our children, team members, colleagues, or friends.

Grace.

That word is so important to me that I named my company Journey of Grace Coaching. The journey to extend grace to myself has not been an easy one. In fact, it's often been much easier to extend grace to others than to myself.

For years, I thought leadership meant carrying more.

More responsibility.

More pressure.

More people's problems.

More expectations.

What I'm learning through leadership coaching and my own leadership development journey is that great leadership isn't about carrying everything. It's about discerning what is yours to carry and what isn't.

Sometimes that means having a difficult conversation.

Sometimes it means holding someone accountable.

Sometimes it means setting a boundary.

And sometimes it means letting go.

If I'm being honest, there were times when I didn't address issues at work or in life because it felt easier to avoid them. Pick your battles, right?

But freedom doesn't mean avoiding hard things.

It means not carrying them longer than necessary.

It doesn't mean we keep allowing poor performance, bad behavior, or disrespect to walk through the door of our offices and homes. Boundaries exist for a reason, even if they are a relatively new concept for some of us, as they have been for me over the last few years.

In leadership, this might look like bringing home the stress of an ongoing performance issue and replaying the conversation in your head all evening. It might mean beating yourself up for a mistake you think you should have known better than to make, whether it was something relatively small or something that cost you a promotion, an opportunity, or even a job.

I know I carried both of these home with me well past their expiration dates.

It might mean continuing to carry resentment toward someone who hurt you years ago.

Or allowing the opinions of people who don't share your values or vision to hold you back from becoming who you're meant to be.

If I'm being honest, this isn't a lesson I've mastered. It's one I'm still learning.

The reality is that leaders already carry a great deal.

Development Dimensions International (DDI) reported that 71% of executives experienced increased stress after moving into leadership roles, and 40% have considered leaving their positions because of it.

There's not much freedom from responsibility in leadership.

But perhaps there can be freedom from carrying what no longer serves us.

What if some of that freedom comes from knowing our purpose, what fuels us, our strengths, our triggers, and our blind spots? These are all important components of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and effective leadership development.

What if it comes from understanding our teams better too?

What if we focus on workplace communication built on connection, trust, and clarity?

What might we finally be able to release once we strengthen the foundations of leadership effectiveness and professional growth?

Freedom doesn't mean discipline goes out the window.

It means letting go of what doesn't serve anymore after it's been addressed.

Sometimes that means making a hard personnel decision.

Sometimes that means extending forgiveness.

Sometimes that means doing our own inner work.

As we celebrate freedom this month, maybe the question isn't what you need to do next.

Maybe it's what you need to release.

A grudge.

A regret.

A mistake.

A relationship.

An expectation.

A story about where you should be by now.

Because sometimes the next level of leadership doesn't come from carrying more.

It comes from finally putting down what no longer serves you.

Strong leaders understand that resilient leadership is not about doing more. It is about creating space for what matters most while letting go of the burdens that prevent growth.

So this month, whether you're at work or on vacation, what's one thing it's time to let go of?

Where can you extend grace to yourself or someone else so that you can move forward a little lighter, a little freer, and a little more ready for what's next?